Gems & Thorns

There is a special time in life when we go through something hurtful and painful that God just passionately and lovingly pursues us to give our whole hearts to Him. There are days when we are so burdened down with life that we sometimes fail to hear God's voice and sometimes we even fail to acknowledge God's redeeming love. But yet He's there.

I have to share a little something that has been going on with me. I have been struggling with rejection from people who are in my life every day here at Bethel. They will remain nameless for the fact that I have forgiven them - but it is because of that forgiveness that I need to share this. Now, I have experienced a lot of hurt in my life; I've experienced rejection, harassment, bullying, teasing and it has almost put me in the grave by my own hands. Why am I still here you say? The answer: because God happened. He pursued me until I turned my whole heart to Him and discovered this unexplainable joy in my life and I found who I am in Christ and I've never been the same since. But that doesn't mean that I don't still experience the rejection and the pain that put me into that depression in the first place, it's just that I have a place to put my hope and my heart.

Throughout this entire situation here at Bethel (which by the way is still not over) I have discovered that God has placed gems in my life to comfort me and encourage me and to pray for me and just love me through it all. These gems have been such a blessing! These gems are passionately in love with God and pursue Him each and every day. It's so refreshing to find people like that and I really want them to know that I appreciate them.

This last Sunday I experienced something that I will forever cherish in my heart. There was a point that day that I just became so overwhelmed with this hurt in my heart that I was on the verge of tears and an emotional breakdown. But something that night told me to go to my Pray First friends. They prayed for an ear problem that I was having (which by the way was healed) and because they are so in love with God they knew that I was hurting and they gently and lovingly pushed me to tell them...and well the end result was a lot of tears. The love that they shared with me Sunday night was so comforting and exactly what I needed. My heart was healed that night because God loved me and because my friends saw the heart of God.

My heart was so overjoyed and blessed by that encounter that I (through some help from these friends) sought to return that blessing on the people who were hurting me. It is such a blessing to do something to bless someone else that I have just experienced this amazing week and I have felt God's arms surrounding me and I have laughed with God and it has just been an amazing week with the One I love wholeheartedly.

Jesus, thank you for these gems that you've placed in my life and thank you for being a loving God who doesn't let us go through life by ourselves but you are with us and in our lives. Words just are not enough...I love You Jesus.

Sweetness

Hit the alarm, make bed, jump in shower, jump out, make up, facebook (1 minute), email (3 minutes), hair, pack bag, run out door, get breakfast, most of the time run down to chapel, run to my first class, second class, lunch, third class, breathe, homework, dinner, homework, shower, Bible, relax, bed. This is generally the schedule that I have here at college. A full day's work eh? But amongst all this hustle-and-bustle God in His love has showered me with life.

Life here at college has not been easy. I have been challenged, I have been stretched, and I have been pushed to my limits. But there comes a point when you realize that you can't continue on without relying on God to help you get through. It is in these times of challenge that God reveals Himself to you in such a sweet and precious way. The sweetness of His love and peace in my life continues to grow by the day. There is not a day that goes by where God somehow sweeps me off my feet by just the little blessings in life or in just the way that He expresses His love to me. What did I ever do to deserve this...me a pathetic and terrible sinner? God's grace and His mercy are every-abounding and is always ready to overwhelm you in the best way possible.

I love God with everything that I have within me and there is nothing that I or anyone else could ever do to take me away from Him. As the psalms say, there is no place to go to hide from God and His love. Every day I go through some sort of struggle or challenge and every day God continues to walk beside me through it all. And whenever things in life get too hard, He picks me up and carries me through it all. It is God's peace and love that keeps me going. Honestly, I think I might have given up by now if God had not been such an important part of my life. His peace is overwhelming and His love is ever so sweet. Every morning is like waking up to a bouquet of roses laying right next to me. God knows the struggles and challenges that I will face each day even before I close my eyes the night before, and it is because He knows that I can trust Him to help me through and God has not failed me once!

When I feel tears coming on I become overwhelmed by the feeling of His loving arms wrapping around me. When I feel like screaming, I become overwhelmed by the feeling of God gently caressing my face and whispering "I love you." And when I feel like giving up,I become overwhelmed by peace and a renewed vigor to keep going, to persevere. God's love and grace and peace is sweetness in my life.