His Mercies are New Every Morning

I guess it's about time for me to start updating this blog - it's been a couple months. I wont go over what has happened over all those months but there have been some recent things happening. I feel like this blog is an open space for me to just get everything out there because no one reads it. However, do not think that this disappoint me :) You may realize that I'm not necessarily putting stories up here but am applying the Word to situations I am in.

So at the beginning of the summer I moved back home in anticipation of working a lot of hours and spending time with friends. The work hours happened more than actually spending time with friends. While at home I quickly began to sense things were not right and that something was going on that my parents were not telling me. I'll confess I was a little worried my mom was going through depression and that my Dad's job was on the line. I never confessed these fears to the Lord and I feel like that had to do with how anxious and moody I was. God began to work in my heart to trust Him more and more, and my ability to see and understand how much I could trust God began to grow. I started spending more time in prayer than I've ever done before and slowly but surely my heart changed by moving away from constantly wanting to know what people think of me and wanting to please people to it being all God. I was challenged by a friend who said that she saw in me that I was thinking of my self so low that I never thought I was worthy enough to be loved. Woah!! What an eye opener!

Anyways, I was working like an insane amount of hours and next thing I knew I was feeling a real need to pray for my family. I was tired, moody, lonely, confused and I just didn't know what to do. So I began to press my dad to tell me, I feel now that I should have just waited on the Lord to move on their hearts to tell me, but God was preparing me anyways and my Dad was so gracious with me when the truth came out. My mom had been fired from her job at Bethel Seminary in St. Paul and she is innocent of all reasons why she should be fired. And long story short, we are suing Bethel for their illegal actions toward my mother and the events that led up to her being fired. My world has been shake and turned upside down. I never thought in the world that she would be let go in this way and there are so many people that have been horrified and sickened over what has happened. I wont have my mom's tuition benefit anymore, I may be once again without health insurance, and I am paying for almost everything for college. And you know what I have such peace in my heart in the midst of this all!! You see God was preparing me, I knew in my spirit that my mom wont have her job forever, and I know that God provides in wondrous ways because He has in my life. My future is not contingent on the money I will need to help me get the education that I need for my career choice.

The pain that we are going through right now is like a miniature pebble in comparison to God's love. His promises are true to us - we are NEVER alone! And His mercies are new every morning. My mom has been telling me that every morning she wakes up with a song in her heart, and to be honest, I have to for the past 3 months. It's wonderful. I have no idea how people go through these difficult situations without the love of God, but I am so grateful to God that He is pouring His love into my heart. My family is changing and we are walking in faith in a way we haven't before. We are trusting God, we are at peace (granted we do have bad days), and we are even able to comfort those still at the seminary who have been outraged.

Friends, now is the time to surrender all of us to the Lord. The Bible tells us that in the end times everything that can be shaken will be shaken. Are you prepared for that? I don't know a lot of things but what I've learned from different situations is that the only way that you can be prepared for this kind of shaking is to surrender ALL things to the Lord, get your heart right with Him, stop seeking human approval because you'll never be satisfied by it! And as far as money goes, well I am learning to let go of the attachment to money that I've had for almost my whole life - not that I've wanted more and more money, but I have been worried that there wouldn't be enough money for the things that I want or need in life. That's not of the Lord - yes money helps and yes God provides but we should not attach our heart to money in any way shape or form. It is not healthy and it even distracts us from trusting the Lord.

You guys, I pray that you understand how much God loves you and how powerful that love is. It is the most precious gift that we have and will ever receive in our life. Continue to go after God and stoke the fire that is in our hearts. My heart goes out to all of you guys and I hope that your life is continually reflecting God's heart to the world. Never doubt your value and continue to surrender every area of your life to the Lord.

Oh and one more thing, if anyone is actually reading this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not share what has happened to my mom with anyone. I know Bethel has had issues in the past and they've made news headlines before because some students leaked certain stories to the press. I know the people who follow this blog once in a while and I will NOT condone any gossip that is related to this story, although I know most of you are not gossipers.

Much love!!