Why should I even care?

Well here I am 2 weeks away from graduating and the one thing on my mind currently is how deeply I want to move out of my dorm room. I've tried to be a friend all year, I've tried to be here for my roommates, and I've tried to develop community but no matter what I do I continue to find myself alone, depressed, and crying out for escape. I feel neglected by the people I see most often, and I feel like no one around me really cares to know what I'm thinking, what I'm dealing with, or even to be a friend to me. Why is it that I care so much about having relationships with people? Why is it that I was made for intimacy and deep relationships? Mine is the life of an extrovert forced to live as an introvert.I always try to find a place to belong and yet no where is accepting. At Church I long deeply to be on the inner circle, to be found at the center of the fire, but I find myself on the outskirts constantly. It's made me question so many times why I even bother going to Church and in particular the one I currently go to. And when I try to express my frustrations to people they say "Let Jesus be your everything. Let Jesus be the one to know you the closest." As if I'm not. The thing is I always seem to lose my sense of purpose on this earth if I'm not in relationships. Lord I really don't know what to do. I shrivel up when I'm forced to be a hermit. Solitude is not my calling. And here I hear people again saying "Let Jesus be your everything. Let Jesus be the one to meet your every need." Yes, well-meant person, I know. I don't know how. I have spent my life burying questions because I was told to "just believe" and now I find myself in a position where I don't understand the Bible, where I don't think I could clearly or strongly articulate answers to questions of faith. And I don't know how to clearly share my faith with others outside of what I have experienced. Random person who seems to have it all together, will you teach me? Will you show me how to understand what the Bible is saying and how to use it to build my faith so I can witness to others? Solitude and independence indeed is not my calling. Yes I want Jesus to be my everything, I just don't know how. And I'm too scared to voice my questions if I know I'm going to get scolded. I had a friend you know who consistently did that. So why should I even care? I care because what I have going on inside of me I truly believe is something so fundamental to being a Child of God that some people don't think they need it. I was made to live with intimacy in relationships - close friendships. So Church, next time you see me or someone like me sitting in the back, it isn't always because we're nominal Christians. It's because we don't know how to draw closer or we don't feel like it's safe for us to with the people who are already on the inside. So instead of passing judgment upon us and thinking that we need to be fixed, ask us if we just need a friend and one on one discipleship. I ask why because I've tried for too long and yet not long enough - I want to give up but I can't or else I will lose something vital to who I am as an individual. Please Church, will you disciple me and others like me instead of thinking that we're not "on fire" for the Lord. All I need is a close friend...