My Journey Up Mount Moriah

Over the last almost two years the Lord has taken me on a journey into His heart. Part of this journey has required me to learn how to forgive and how to forgive again and again. When my family walked through the "it was the worst of times, it was the best of times" last year I never thought in my life it would lead me on my own walk up Mount Moriah to lay my "Isaac" on the alter and wait for God to stop me before I sacrificed my right to receive justice. That journey up my Mount Moriah held the highest of heights and the lowest of depths relationally, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I never quite realized how powerful the work of forgiveness can be, and how incredibly difficult it is to get to that point of forgiveness. I never realized that you could lay aside your right to receive justice for an injustice done to you as an act of worship that God would bless. I remember talking to a friend last year who is actually a dear prayer partner now and I was telling her I feel like Jacob; I have wrestled with God and walked away with a limp as my flesh has died over and over again with the birth pains that would lead me to the birthing of this journey I'm on today of learning to sit at Jesus' feet. Oh if you my readers could understand what the Lord has done for me and in me...I get choked up just thinking about it. There's a new level of freedom I have in my life, there's a newness to my walk with the Lord and a joy and peace I've never felt before in my life! Back in December after walking (and continuing to walk) through the end of a friendship with some people I've known almost my whole life and the pain that came with that I found myself at the lowest depths of hating myself. I found myself not caring what happened to me and I was in such a dark dark place in my heart and life. But somewhere around the second week of December I put an axe in the river (look up Bible reference) and said to the Lord "I need Your help; I need You, to help me learn to love myself. I am marking today with an axe in the river and I am trudging ahead full speed into this journey. Everything within me hates who I am, but I can no longer live in sin because it doesn't please You. I need You to help me love myself." And He has...We serve a GREAT and GOOD God!! Blessings!!