Identity in God

So, I'm finally getting around to posting this message. I had written "Beauty to be delighted in" in a bad attitude and I want to first apologize to God for my actions - it was not glorifying to Him; nor was it hopeful or helpful for those who read it.

Needless to say, God did something after this post.

That evening I was talking with my roommate about this. I mentioned how my thoughts had gone wild after a guy from my past (absolutely not a relationship in that way) had said something to me that kind of shook me. I had started to think that I don't have close guy relationships and because I don't have guy relationships I must not be marriage material. She encouraged me by showing me that in order for me to have close relationships with guys it will get to the point where I'd either need to break it off or marry the guy.

Later that evening I was going out to get ice cream with my other roommate and she had accidentally walked in on this private conversation and didn't know what to do. So I explained what was going on. Then she said something I never expected to come from her mouth, but God definitely spoke through her to my heart. Her speech is as follows:
"Can I tell you something about you that just drives me bonkers?" "Sure" I said, "OK, it drives me crazy that you can't see how incredibly beautiful you are. You have all these giftings and talents and just this beauty both inside and out that everyone else can see but you! You may feel like you've got problems with your physical and emotional appearance, but you are beautiful and I want you to finally realize that for yourself!"

I...was...speechless. I touched me in a way I never thought it could.

That next morning I went to North Heights Lutheran Church and I was surprised by the message: Identity

The pastor spoke on the identity of both David and of Saul. Both were anointed King, both were powerful men of God; but, there was a difference between them. Saul was King but he didn't act according to his God-given identity. David wasn't yet king but yet he acted according to this God-given identity. The pastor proceeded to say that Saul lived in unbelief because although God had spoken his identity to him, Saul was too afraid to not believe what other people spoke about him - about the identities that other people had placed on him. Saul lived in unbelief. Unbelief is sin.

By not putting God's identity of you over others' identity of you then you are living in unbelief and you are sinning.

This spoke something to my heart - deeply. It dawned on me this whole time I had been living in sin because I couldn't not believe what other people had placed on my head for my identity. But that no longer matters because I am now living in belief because I have finally accepted this and I have stepped into my identity - the identity that God gave me. It's an identity that can be found in the Word; it's an identity that is rooted in my relationship with God.

I can see now that all along the ugly duckling never existed. She was always a figment of my imagination. But the swan has always been there. Yes, I am the swan. I am not and never will be and never have been the ugly duckling. Now I see the swan has never been hidden; one only has to look through the lens of the eye of God to see I am the swan. I may not have my beauty delighted in by humanity, but I do by God and it is so much more special because His delight is eternal, infinite, and unconditional.

Do you know what your identity is? Do you know who you are to God? I'd like to challenge you to find out - it's quite a journey with a wonderful ending :)