Seeing through a Mirror Dimly

I realized recently that I've been harboring a lot of bitterness. My roommates have been so loving and so supportive and so there to hold up my arms when I was getting weak that I can only imagine how much God is there for me.

I've been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. Seeing a lot of bitterness towards myself. Seeing a lot of selfishness, pride, and anger in my own heart. And I've seen areas where God has gifted me that I have not been using that gift to glorify God but myself. One particular gift I have is a gift of empathy. I've had it almost my whole life and when God moved me into a ministry of intercession I was blown out of the waters at the way that God brought particular people to me for me to pray for them. However, I realized that I've been using it all the wrong way. I realized that I've been using it as a way to fix things in other people's lives instead of using it in the way that it was really intended - supporting, encouraging, and lifting up other people in their own personal walks through life and their own personal faith journeys. I discovered a deep inner desire to forgive others. I discovered a desire to find a wholesome peace and walk out that peace in my own life!! To live within God's rest! To love radically and to give self-sacrificially to others. But to also love myself! Don't know how I'm going to do this, I know I can't do it, it has to be the Holy Spirit within me. But I do know that God is there with me along the whole journey. Blessings!