When the battle is greatest. When the resolve to continue fizzles flat. When the heart aches with hurt. When the calling seems too great, too hard. When the loneliness seeks to devour. When the mistakes are just too many. When the joy is too great to not get up and dance. When the future looks bright. When the changes are good. When the crisis hits. When the body gives out. When the body fights against the will. When the only hope is the Lord.
As the struggles have come at me over the past few weeks I've had to relearn what brokenness really looks like. What true surrender looks like. And I've hit a point, over and over and over again, where the surrender is so freeing. I've hit a point where I realize how truly amazing it is to know I can trust God. But it takes going to my knees. It takes admitting I am weak, so very very weak. The hour to hour battles, the resolve to keep going when you continue to face failure. The daily facing of my sin and saying "Do you see that Big Guy over there? Yeah, he's going to show you the door." When the only hope I have is knowing God's love is greater than ANYTHING. That the Lord of the whole universe is right beside me, holding me, embracing me in His majestic arms. He knows me. I long to know Him more. I see the scars on His hands and feet as He holds me and I love Him even more.
OK God, I trust You. Take me deeper - take me into the scary unknown of your heart. Wreck me Father for Your glory. That's my prayer for 2015.
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