An Exercise in Accepting Jesus' Love

A year ago when I was struggling with a lot of shame, regret, hurt and frustration God gave me this little exercise to do.


It's been hard sometimes to accept God's love knowing that even as a Christian I sin, big time! One night when I was really bad off I heard God say to me "let Me love you!" over and over and over again. And believe me, I wanted to but I was ashamed. I will always turn to God and seek to serve Him - but sometimes I serve as a servant or even a slave rather than a daughter. And I told God as much.
His response - "Eliana, just accept my love even knowing that you sin!"

Then it happened...I saw in a very clear vision that there I was cowering in a corner, turning my face away from God who was standing just a few feet away with arms wide open and beaming with love. And I could not look at Him, I was too ashamed. 

"Listen, do you trust that I love you?"

"Yes."

"Then just turn around and face me. You don't have to open your eyes. You don't even have to turn around for very long. Just turn around for as long as you can handle."

I watched myself turn around, forcing myself to face God for as long as I could handle. Oh it hurt, in such a glorious and beautiful way. His love piercing my very soul and I could only handle it for a little time. And the more I turned around, the longer I could handle it, and the more I grew to love doing it.

Last week as I was writing in my journal on some things I felt a great deal of shame over God told me to do the turning exercise again. But this time it was different. Here's how the conversation went:

"Eliana, turn towards Me."

"I can't God!"

"Eliana, turn towards Me."

"I would love to God, but I cant!"

"Eliana, just turn towards Me and let Me love you!"

"Oh Lord, but you'll see my sin."

"No...your sin will see Me."

WOAH! I turned around so quickly it was amazing! Did you hear that? We're so locked up in shame that we think that somehow we have to keep God (who bore ALL of our sin on the cross when Jesus died) away from us and our sin. The veil was torn, Christ stepped into our sin and took care of it's cost with His own blood. He can handle our sin! He can handle knowing that we fell and He will still love us! I hope someone somewhere, even if it's just myself, can utilize this exercise. It really is powerful.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face."

Blessings!!!